


Cavy Commotion

by PseudoFox



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Anthropomorphic, Awkwardness, Comedy, Drama, Family Drama, Friendship/Love, Furry, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Major Original Character(s), Minor Original Character(s), Multi, Original Character(s), POV Original Character, Snark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-13 01:17:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10503432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PseudoFox/pseuds/PseudoFox
Summary: Officer Nick Wilde's run in with the feisty guinea pig Andes Cavia put them both in a tricky sort of situation. Dealing with dastardly lawbreakers and other kinds of big city threats is one thing. Having to sort out species differences with your family and your friends is another.





	1. Chapter 1

**[Chapter One]**

**Somewhere in the outskirts of Zootopia proper, several months after the Bellwether crisis...**

Andes Cavia stared blankly as a small silver lamp got hurled into the massive store window. Despite all of the frantic action movies, cool cop dramas, and the rest that the guinea pig had seen, the glass resisted the impact save for a bunch of cracks. The Preda executives thankfully, Andes thought, spared no expense in setting up their shops— even in terms of that new location, quite a distance removed from the city itself. He scampered away from the store's entrance and hid underneath a massive display of artwork. The array of big paintings stretched out above him as much as a skyscraper would. Andes witnessed yet another lamp slam against the wall— just missing the store's skinny double-doors.

"Sir! Madam! Hello!" Andes called out to no avail. He popped his head out from underneath the display and made a loud, primal whine. That didn't get any response either. "Help?"

The guinea pig heard all kinds of breaking, hollering, and scuffling noises going off from the other side of the check-out counters. Yet he could barely see a thing— portable racks covered in fancy clothes, jewelry, paintings, and the like had gotten abandoned beside him. He anxiously brushed his paws along his smart-looking brown slacks and white dress shirt.

"Any salesmammals around? Managers? Police? _Hello?_ " he asked. He could, at least, make out sirens some distance away. That didn't change the fact that nobody noticed _him_.

Andes thought about how he shouldn't have expected any different. Being a respected customer in a high-end store likely in the middle of being robbed, or otherwise stuck in some horrible commotion, didn't change how the authority-type figures would likely all ignore him. He, at the end of the day, was simply another 'little guy'— no matter the prestige of his family line or the research put into his intelligent tastes. Andes spotted a group of scruffy predators in the distance, the mammals quickly moving through the aisles. He couldn't quite make out their species, but they all displayed a set of big teeth and a bigger batch of shopping bags clutched against their chests. The guinea pig angrily scowled.

"Well, I paid for what I wanted a moment ago," Cavia declared to himself, holding his own small shopping bags up in the air, "and so I, fair and square, have every right to leave and _now_. None of this concerns _me._ "

Andes scurried out the Preda's double-doors. He then hopped to the side, sitting for a moment on a marble outcropping with all kinds of nice greenery. A pair of tall wolf fire-fighters rushed into the shop just a second after he'd left it. They didn't notice Andes at all. Neither did a rhino and buffalo team of police officers that barged in behind the wolves.

"All this nonsense, and I've totally forgotten where I've parked," Andes muttered. Standing on the marble, the guinea pig thought, ought to give the perfect view. However, he merely saw scattered mammals appearing to lose their minds at whatever was happening at the Preda. "Why, anyways, would they need fire-fighters to deal with a robbery—"

A sudden wave of heat blasted Andes' without warning. The guinea pig leaped into the air. He bounced off of a chunk of marble and clutched a tall plastic trash can beside the Preda's entrance. Andes watched as a ripple of fire surged across the top of flower after flower— the flames coming from somewhere inside the shop. Somehow, the blaze caused the flowers to burst out with this powerful lemony scent. The guinea pig clutched his pair of slacks-filled shopping backs against his chest— rubbing his light, tan fur— and twitched his nose.

"I suppose that those pretty purple plants—"

The greenery burst completely into flame.

"Are entirely flammable."

The guinea pig had a hard time keeping himself from being hypnotized. The sight reminded Andes of an outdoor bonfire back in his college days. The lemony scent seemed to cloud every last inch of mind, the strong musk having bathed the shop's entrance. Andes shut his eyes tightly and slapped his cheeks.

"Well, Preda being Preda, if their store has to get get robbed and then burned, they're going to do it in a way that looks _fabulous_ and smells _heavenly._ "

Andes flipped himself around. Even if he couldn't recall where he'd parked, he felt more than ready to get away from the store and onto the street. He wiggled down the stairs but halted right by the bottom. Little bits of greenery, covered in hot embers, stretched in a kind of semicircle that separated half of the stairs from the sidewalk. Andes stood up straight and watched as a group of yaks ran around beside him. They mindlessly screamed as they stomped about. Of course, they stood tall enough they could simply step over a bunch of things on the stairs. It meant nothing, Andes thought with a big scowl, to _them._

Andes slipped through the legs of a huge tiger fire-fighter. He came to the last stair by the sidewalk and let himself grin. Yet, after holding up just one paw in the air, a thick book that looked like a burning sales catalog flew out of the sky. It smacked down right in front of the guinea pig.

"Just being robbed? Or is some idiot firing rocket launchers in there?" Andes asked himself. He couldn't help but freeze as he heard a set of loud booming noises far above him. He glanced around as a group of sheep fled out of the Preda, but the fear-coated faces on the mammals neither noticed him nor told him anything new.

It was, Andes thought, truly typical for nobody to check on the safety of a creature of his size outside of Little Rodentia— even if he'd nearly gotten squished from above by a stupid sales catalog. Odds were that the Preda's remaining customers could've gotten caught in some kind of a hostage crisis. The store may even have gotten cased by criminals well before that day's events. Andes expected to only find out the truth when watching the evening news.

"Heaven help us," murmured a fat ewe as she stumbled out of the store. She spent a split-second looking down, trying not to step on Andes, before flopping out past him entirely. A rhino police officer immediately embraced the ewe, both of them starting some kind of conversation that the guinea pig couldn't hear.

"Well," Andes remarked to himself, slapping his paws against his sides, "I guess I might as well put this... with the rest of the fire." He shoved the edge of the thick catalog up against a batch of flaming flowers. The guinea pig took in a deep breath as he noticed his mini-edition Toyota Camelry parked a block away. Andes immediately hopped out across the sidewalk.

_"Hey, wait!"_

A sharp voice from above caused the guinea pig to freeze. A police officer had appeared right behind him. Andes racked his brain for a moment— finding the oddity of a fox working for the ZPD being something that he should've read about somewhere.

"Oh, how wonderful that you're here," Andes said, trying to be polite as much as he wanted to put the whole block into his car's rear-view mirror, "Officer—"

"Nick Wilde," the fox declared.

"I'm sure that you can help your colleagues sort out all of that commotion," Andes went on, pointing behind him, "and I'll simply be going—"

"You're, uh," the fox began, fumbling about his huge jacket's many pockets. He clutched two different pawcuffs against his midriff, each of them being bigger than Andes' whole head. "You're under arrest."

"... _what?_ " Andes got still as a statue, unable to process a thing.

"Hah, yes," Nick burst out, gripping a small piece of plastic from inside his jacket, "you probably thought that your lackeys could do your dirty work, covering up for your financial games, while you slip out unnoticed—

"Officer Wilde," Andes squeaked, "it's like you're speaking in tongues or something. I don't have any clue—"

"The ZPD finally has you now, _Vinnie the Scamper!_ " Nick declared. He leaned down and brandished a framed photograph before him like some kind of a trophy.

"That's a _hamster_ , you dolt!" Andes growled.

"A mere hairstyle tweak and dye job can't fool an ace detective like me!" Nick smiled from cheek to cheek as he slapped a paw against his chest. "No way, Vinnie! One kind of rodent or another!"

"There's a difference, you know! Or, I suppose, you _don't know_ , since you're stupid enough to think in stereotypes! A 'little guy is a little guy', right?" Andes hopped up into the air, seething with anger. "Besides, do you _really _think that somebody who wears _these clothes_ , talks with _this accent_ , and gets to _this size_ —" Andes pointed all over his body as he spoke, getting more and more animated. "Would go by a bigoted nickname like 'Scamper'?"__

____

"Enough talk!" Nick called out as he finally found the kind of pawcuffs that would fit Andes. The fox's smug facial expression made the guinea pig have to stop from puking his lunch out, right onto the middle of the sidewalk.

____

**Several hours later...**

____

A solid wall of rain poured down upon the simple gravel street. Andes pressed his nose against the window for what may have been the two-hundredth time. The big police SUV dealt with the horrendous storm just fine; a steady torrent of noise sounded out from the water battering the metal. The guinea pig wished that he could be anywhere near so resilient.

____

Sure, Andes thought, his family stock meant that he stood nearly as big as a dwarf rabbit— the Cavia line residing in Zootopia proper instead of Little Rodentia for generations— but that apparently only went so far. He planned to sue the ZPD for their careless misunderstanding. The situation had gotten completely out of paw, and it'd all been the fault of one particularly arrogant fox.

____

Andes stared at Nick stepping away from the tiny payphone. If he didn't feel racked with worry, Andes would've giggled at the sight— the officer had twisted himself in the oddest shape to use the bunny-sized device, Nick's black umbrella getting contorted in the process. The fox nodded, fumbling about to spread his umbrella wide, and then stood up straight. The way in which a couple of tree branches smacked against Nick's head made Andes giggle anyways.

____

"Hey, I've got _news_!" Nick called out.

____

"With how long you've been on the phone, I'll bet," the guinea pig murmured back— knowing that the fox wouldn't be able to hear him through the pouring rain and thick window even if he shouted at full force.

____

The police officer quickly realized that fact as well. Nick stepped across the concrete sidewalk and fumbled about his pockets for the SUV's keys. Andes heard a loud click, and he braced himself as the fox awkwardly slipped the door open. Sure enough, the cold, wet elements smacked across Andes' fluffy fur.

____

"Thank goodness," Nick said, trying to shift his umbrella above the both of them, "for Bunnyburrow being a few decades behind the times. Otherwise, I'd never have found a street with payphones that actually work, you know?"

____

"Okay," Andes flatly replied.

____

"I know that it's an odd situation for the Zootopian police to head out in this direction, driving down to Bunnyburrow instead of back into the city proper. The fact that the storms hit the other highways first meant that the central office wanted to do bookings here, at this local office, instead. Now, as you can see—" The fox gestured about in various directions. "The bad weather has hit over here as well."

____

Andes wondered if he should bother to say something besides either 'alright' or 'okay'. The ZPD didn't deserve even simple indifference— not after how they'd treated him. The guinea pig simply leaned back in the rodentia-friendly seat booster and nodded.

____

Nick, tired as he looked, tried to put on a big smile. The color had drained from his eyes as the night had dragged on— the fox having to take the SUV through back roads that he barely knew about. Andes, for his part, only knew Bunnyburrow from what he'd seen on some random Zoogle Plus documentary about farming.

____

"Once again— and I know that no matter how often I say it, Mr. Cavia, that it won't be enough— we at the ZPD are truly sorry for misidentifying you, claiming that you worked as a hyena gang's money launderer," Nick said.

____

"I've a hard enough time getting my damn shirts from the laundromat," Andes griped, "let alone whatever nonsense you cops dreamed up."

____

"These cases of mistaken identity happen all of the time," Nick said, pausing as he finished the sentence. He took in Andes' malice-soaked stare and tried to lighten his tone of voice. "Sir, I can assure you, we at the ZPD are able to tell guinea pigs apart from any related species."

____

"Blah-blah-blah," Andes muttered, dismissively waving a paw in front of his face.

____

"We acted based on incomplete information— descriptions of a given outfit, location, and type of shopping bags— due to the concurrent arrests in and out of Zootopia. It was for the safety of Preda customers, ultimately, I promise you. Picking you up and transferring you to Bunnyburrow's local authorities for booking, what with the roads to the main police stations closed—"

____

"For crying out loud, it's not like I wasn't listening to every word you said— and heard— when you took me hostage and drove me around! You can save the rehashing speech!"

____

"Yes, well, I also aren't interested in going through it all again. Standing out in the rain, even with the umbrella, right now," Nick muttered. He apparently had meant to simply think all that, not say it, but his tiredness had short-circuited something in his brain.

____

"Look!" Andes exclaimed, shoving his paws against the plastic bar in front of him. He bit against his seat belt, moving it off to the side, and began to shimmy himself out of the seat completely. "I've waited long enough! You've admitted that you've dragged the wrong mammal out into the middle of nowhere, haven't you? So, when are you going to put me into a hotel? Or— better yet— _take me home?_ "

____

"Actually..." Nick paused, pulling down his umbrella so closely that the plastic rubbed against his ears. He narrowed his eyes as he went on, bracing for another heated outburst. "It looks like the whole county is about to experience a tornado warning."

____

"I suppose it would be cliche to say 'it never rains, but it pours', then?"

____

That actually got a genuine smile out of Nick. The fox felt completely beaten down emotionally from making the biggest screw-up in his entire policing career so far. "Your aunt and uncle, having been informed of the entire situation, will send a limousine service to pick you up here. It'll be sent off early tomorrow morning," 

____

"I'm sensing a 'but' coming, Officer Wilde," the guinea pig interjected.

____

"I, well," Nick said, awkwardly coughing, "regret to tell you, Mr. Cavia, that the service won't able to come over here before then."

____

"The weather."

____

"Yes, Mr. Cavia, things are apparently bad enough that _all_ traffic _both_ in and out of Bunnyburrow has gotten shut down. Ironic, I know, since the very reason that I drove away from Zootopia was to escape this mess. It'll last for several hours, and I'm not sure—"

____

"I'm not under arrest anymore? Right?" Andes asked. He popped himself out of the rodentia-friendly seat booster and wiggled from the seat belt over to the glove compartment. The guinea pig glared at the fox with enough energy to burn invisible holes in Nick's uniform.

____

"Yes."

____

"Then I'm gone."

____

"Gone?"

____

" _You heard me!_ " Andes called out. He hopped down onto the side of the SUV's door, sucked in a huge breath, and then smacked himself against the concrete. He held his paws against Nick's shoes, and he narrowed his eyes as he started straight upwards. "I'm finally at a real street-corner— not another damn side road in the middle of endless fields— and I'm heading off to take care of myself. I can use a phone too. And if I really need to, well, I can walk."

____

"Sir, I just—"

____

"Good day!" The guinea pig bravely stepped off into the rain, heading in the direction of the rabbit-sized payphone.

____

"Sir!" Nick flipped his body around, nearly tripping on an errant stone jutting out in the cracked concrete. He followed right behind Andes— awkwardly cradling the umbrella both close enough to shield himself and also angled out enough to cover the guinea pig. "Even walking down a few blocks in this is really dangerous. You can't—"

____

"I said 'good day', didn't I?" Andes asked. Before he or Nick could say another word, he accidentally stepped into a small hole in the sidewalk. Water splashed across his entire body.

____

"Yes, but— _please_ — listen to me!"

____

"Fine!" Andes brushed himself off, not that it meant anything with the rain still pouring down around them. Even the big umbrella tightly clung to by the fox only provided a modicum of relief.

____

"I don't know how to say this, so I'll just spit it out as one big slab of information," Nick said, opening up his eyes wide as he stuck out his chin, "alright?"

____

Andes let himself chuckle at the stressed-out fox's expression. It looked like quite a contrast from Nick's sickening smugness a few hours ago. "I'm soaking wet in the middle of a podunk village full of rabbits, aren't I?" asked Andes.

____

"Yes, but—"

____

"Because the police mistook me for a member of a dangerous criminal gang, scaring me out of my wits, right?"

____

"Sir, but—"

____

"And said podunk town is about to be beset with— of all things— _tornadoes_?"

____

"Sir, I—"

____

"Whatever the hell you say, it's not like it could make things any _worse,_ could it?"

____

"Uh... yes, you've got an excellent point," Nick awkwardly replied. The fox let Andes clutch the sides of his shoes— the little mammal's paws carving tiny scars from the tightness of the grip. After a few seconds of tense silence, Nick went on. "Well, sir, my girlfriend's family lives here. She's a rabbit that's also a police officer. Her folks don't exactly know about our relationship, but I've been to their place a few times— the house being—"

____

"Oh, how pretty and how novel! A fox and a rabbit finding _love_ , totally disregarding what evolution tells them to do," Andes sarcastically remarked, shaking his head, "let me know when the golden-edged storybook sales come in."

____

"Mr. Cavia," Nick continued, "one of their homes is actually right down at the end of this block." He pointed off at a patch of massive maple trees— beneath the array of thick branches, an edifice of red brick jutted out into the pouring rain. "I'd toyed with coming over sometime this month, having dinner together or something like that, but now I don't exactly have a choice. And the 'I' has now become a 'we' in that past sentence."

____

"We don't... and... with... you... bunnies..." the guinea pig murmured, trying hard to process what he'd just heard. As the fox poised in the air, still pointing over to the end of the sidewalk, Andes stood up as straight as he could. He slipped his paws up against his shirt and let out a loud, pained groan.

____

"Sir, I think... that..." Nick muttered. He stopped as a massive bolt of thunder flashed across the sky.

____

" _Screw it!_ " Andes screamed out. "Just follow me!"

____

"Sir!"

____

Andes scurried out across the sidewalk. Nick thrust himself forward, nearly falling flat on his face, and quickly sped after the guinea pig. The little mammal could move quite fast when he wanted to, and that kind of a moment had come.

____

Before the fox could even really think, he witnessed Andes flipping around against a set of plotted tulips, scurrying up a pair of wooden shovels, and leaning out atop a small metal bench. Andes wiggled himself slightly to the side and managed to angle the bench's tip up to the door. The guinea pig shoved his paws against the big white doorbell and smacked it.

____

Nick followed right behind. The fox's weight, however, meant that _his_ steps on the creaky sidewalk twisted a piece of the wet concrete. His lost balance brought Nick tumbling. He fell flat upon the array of potted tulips, groaning loudly.

____

A few seconds of nothingness went by inside of the house. Andes threw himself upon the button yet again— ringing it over and over. Nick, for his part, gritted his teeth as his paws rubbed up against bits of dirt and broken plaster. He rubbed an arm against his eyes— spitting petals out of his mouth. He could see his umbrella having gotten stuck in part of the metal bench— thankfully giving a bit of shelter to the entire front section of the house. Nick still hoped that the front door wouldn't smack right into him when somebody opened it.

____

"Oh, hello," said a calm, friendly voice from inside the house, "sorry we're taking so long. Glued to the TV set— hearing about the storm, you know?"

____

The door slipped open with a loud creaking sound— Stu Hopps poking his smile-covered face out. Nick tried and failed to stand up, instead slipping against a clump of roots and knocking himself even farther away from the house's door. The older rabbit blinked rapidly, trying to adjust to the brisk, wet wind, as he fumbled against the doorknob. One of his paws accidentally kicked an empty laundry basket half outside. He glanced around in all directions but didn't seem to process a thing.

____

"Hello," Andes repeated, waving over in Stu's direction.

____

The rabbit turned his focus over to the small mammal— Andes' head appearing just out of the door-frame. "Oh! Do, uh, I know you?

____

"The name is Andes Cavia," the guinea pig declared. He sped down the side of the bench, hopping onto the upturned laundry basket, and slid down right in front of the rabbit's worn grey boots. "Technically, it's Andes Cavia the Twenty-Third— the names appearing in various forms, really, for generations given the nature of my prestigious line of merchant mammals."

____

"That's nice," Stu replied. He smiled from cheek to cheek, nodding. "So, well... do I know you?"

____

"Apparently, you will."

____

"I'm not," Stu muttered, scratching his forehead, "following— oh, hey! 'Big Orange'!" The rabbit idly kicked the side of the door as Nick awkwardly lumbered into view. "I guess this is all your doing—" The bunny locked eyes with the fox as the latter kept brushing bits of dirt off of himself. "In some funny way, huh?"

____

Nick hated 'Big Orange' with every fiber of his being. That didn't change the fact that the nickname represented the culmination of weeks upon weeks of buttering up the Hopps family parents— from showing up with expensive gifts to tolerating boring get-togethers to everything else. Despite how Finnick and his other fox friends would joke, Bonnie and Stu weren't 'your average dumb rednecks'. How much they'd accepted him being Judy's colleague and friend, though, only made him worry more and more about when they'd finally discover that the sly interloper had hustled their daughter's heart as well.

____

"It's," Nick began, staring into the house behind Stu, "an odd situation." The hallway looked weirdly barren— items had gotten put into boxes in a way that made it look like preparation for moving. "I, well, the ZPD in general, made some mistakes at work—"

____

"Blah-blah-blah, Andes interjected, snapping his paws together, "and tripe-tripe-tripe! The time for long stories is later. For right now, I've got to ask you something."

____

"Shoot!" Stu called out, not even thinking.

____

"May I, please, spend the night with you?"

____

**[End of Chapter One]**

____


	2. Chapter 2

**[Chapter Two]**

"Sure, I suppose," Stu said, gesturing over into the hallway, "I can't just leave you out in the storm, can I?"

"Rabbits being the inhospitable hicks that they often are, I was actually a bit worried that you would," Andes muttered under his breath.

"Sorry, my new little friend," Stu said, cupping both ears with a chuckle, "can you say that a lot louder? I'm not used to guests of, well, your size."

Andes raised his voice as he put on a wide smile, "I'm glad to be here. It's fantastic." Andes then stepped right inside.

"As you can see, we've been moving our really important items, trying to get things at least _somewhat_ tornado-safe," Stu said as Nick popped up behind the guinea pig. The bunny patted a paw upon the fox's shirt, Nick gently slipping the door shut. "Bonnie's out putting more stuff into our big shelter area, probably moving canned supplies through one of the tunnels right now."

"I see," Andes remarked. The guinea pig glanced up at the hallway's array of shelves— various clumps of paper towels and small batches of newspaper sat beside kitsch-looking knickknacks. Assorted cardboard boxes leaned up against the walls.

"I know that we're both guests and all," Nick piped in, shoving his umbrella into an empty trash can, "but I can tuck himself in and get ready for bed, honestly, just about anywhere. The most important thing is finding a nice place, Mr. Hopps, for my—"

"For the umpteenth call me 'Stu', please!" The older rabbit chuckled as he slipped a pair of farming trophies into a large box. "And even though we've got a full seventy-five kids here, there's plenty of room."

"Seventy-five?" Nick asked, thinking for a moment, "I suppose everybody else is off in various tunnels, away from the storm, while the children here—"

"Speaking of which!" Stu interjected, stepping over the end of the hallway. A large yet mostly barren living room stretched out in front of the three mammals. The rabbit cupped his paws in front of his mouth as he yelled. "Kids! Come on down since we've got company! Nick brought a particular new friend: a _guinea pig_!"

"It's nice to have a bit of good luck, for once," Andes remarked, scurrying in front of the rabbit's legs.

A loud rumbling sounded off. As it grew and grew, some sort of a peculiar grey and brown mass appeared in the far distance, popping up around behind a pair of sofas. The rumbling turned into a chorus of sharp, chipper noises, and Andes eyes might as well have swelled as wide as baseballs. A dense mob of rabbits burst out and flew into the air— looking like a derailing train coming out of a tunnel.

"Spoke too soon," Andes muttered.

Nick grinned. The fox felt prepared for this. Surfing the wave of grabbing, squeaking rabbits was one of the happiest moments of his past few Hopps family visits.

"Well, hello!" Nick called out, stretching out his arms, "all of you—" He felt nothing but empty air, taking a step and half-way falling onto the rug. "Kids?"

Dozens of tiny paws rippled across Andes' body. Flopping ears and twitching noses brushed up all over his fur. The guinea pig tried his best to climb up shirt after shirt, dress after dress, and finally managed to dangle himself on the edge of a bronze-framed painting.

"I can't believe how great he looks!"

"He's so _pretty_!"

"He's so _fluffy_!"

"His fur is so light and tan! It's like he's made of ripped up little plush toys!"

"Oh, uh, kids!" Stu yelled, pressing his body against the mass of wiggling rabbits. A short doe plopped right on top of his head, slipping her paws tightly against his cheeks, and became some kind of a fuzzy hat. " _Children!_ Please, give him some room! At least, let him breathe!"

"Your dad's right!" Nick called out. He thrust out his arm and tried to catch Andes as the guinea pig got tossed around atop the mass of grasping, clutching rabbit paws. The fox gritted his teeth— missing over and over again.

"He's making those 'wheep-wheep' noises! Squeeze him _more!_ "

"I wanna hold him!"

"Give me a turn!"

"Me next! I wanna touch put his _tiny paws_ in mine!

"What if we squeeze both ends at once?"

"No, he'll pop like a balloon!"

"Juliet, don't be stupid!

_"Let me hold him!"_

"Listen to your father, please!" Andes screamed. He slipped out of the mass of bunnies, finding himself beside one of the massive couches, and buried himself deep underneath. "At least, for God's sake, let me take in a little bit of air! Alright?"

"He's hiding! The little squeaker is right by the wall, underneath," remarked the doe atop of Stu's head. The older rabbit thrust a paw right over the little one's mouth.

"Please refrain," Andes declared, trying to boom out his voice, "from using the _s-word_ to describe me. Or any other member of my species. It's _beyond_ rude."

"Children, I'm putting my paw down," Stu insisted, waving his arms about over and over again. Nick appeared behind him, loudly clasping his paws together. "Get on over to the other side of the living room.

"But daaaaaaaaad," sounded off a chorus of disappointed moans.

"No 'buts'! Just move!" Stu pointed over to a section of old wooden bookshelves, fancy wool rugs lying all across the floor, and closed his eyes. The older rabbit raised up his chin and struck a pose of pure parental authority.

The little ones duly obeyed. Bunny after bunny marched the few yards away from the couches. Meanwhile, frantic scurrying sounds popped up just out of view.

"Is it safe?" Andes asked.

"Mr. Cavia," Nick began, leaning down, "I can assure you—"

"Oh, hush, 'Big Orange'!" Andes yelled, slipping his nose out in between a couch leg and the side of a trash can. "I'm asking the one in charge!"

"Please," Stu said, sitting down flat and tapping a paw again the bare floor, "I apologize for the odd kind of welcome. All of the bucks and does here haven't ever seen one of your kind before, at least not face-to-face. They get rowdy, sure do, but they'll learn. They always do."

Andes said nothing back. He simply wiggled out from underneath the couch and stepped over beside Nick and Stu. The guinea pig panted hard. Nick realized, at that moment, just how much he had started to pant as well. Both of them stopped to wipe the sweat off of her faces.

"I've seen a sque—oh, _sorry,_ I mean— a _guinea pig_ face-to-face once," chimed in the short doe. She hopped off of her perch on a small dresser and ran up to her father's leg.

"Oh, see, that's something to build off of," Nick remarked, not even thinking.

"When was that, Juliet?" Stu asked, looking down and rubbing one of his daughter's ears.

"Uh-huh, I did," the doe went on, smiling from cheek to cheek, "and it was like— uh, well— a week ago. I think. I know I'm not supposed to, but I looked at those _furchan_ chats, talking to a bunch of anonymous mammals—"

"Oh, dear," Stu murmured, having an inkling of what would follow.

"And I saw that they _really_ like to be stepped on!" Juliet twitched her tail and braced her body forwards, looking ready to leap into the air.

" _Oh, dear_ ," Nick murmured. He reflectively backed up away from Stu and her daughter.

"The internet taught me that it's a thing called 'their fetish'!" Juliet cried out. The throng of young rabbits across from Nick and their father started jumping up and down.

"I want to give him his 'fee-fish' too!"

"That sounds like fun!"

"I wanna make a game of having him wiggle between our toes!"

 _"Big Orange!"_ Andes screamed out, reaching the top of his lungs. He sped across the floor and clutched the side of the fox's right leg. _"Do something!"_

Acting by instinct, the fox leaned himself down and clutched the guinea pig. He shifted his body to the side and awkwardly placed Andes into the big pocket on his police jacket. Stu, for his part, looked frozen as a statue— going into some kind of psychological shock.

"Officer, do something more... please?" Andes murmured. He was at perfect eye level with Juliet. In Nick's eyes, Judy's younger sister had on an expression more devious than the weasel drug dealer that he'd taken in last week.

**[End of Chapter Two]**

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks very much for reading!
> 
> Poor guinea pigs, poor mice, and poor other small creatures that never do get their chance to shine in 'Zootopia' related materials. This piece was done as part of the recurring 'Thematic Thursday' event. I wanted to write something that plays around with the standard shipping and family drama that we see involving Nick Wilde and the Hopps family. Please post if you have any advice, criticisms, ideas, or the like. Thank you again for looking at the piece.
> 
> (I also should add a little note stating that I went ahead and revised both the first and second chapters a bit after uploading them.)


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